Why Do Women Care So Much?

Why do women care so much? In an article titled, Family Stressors as Predictors of Codependency, it is said that, "Women are traditionally known as nurturers and care- takers, because of the propensity to define themselves through their relationships and to view themselves through an external focus." Women care because of their instinctive nature to provide a nurturing environment for other human beings. Women care because they want to care; women care because it is the right thing to do; women care because no one else cares; women care because they need to care; women care because they were born to care.

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The natural instinct to nurture is deeply rooted in a woman's very existence. In normal circumstances, as a small child, the first object of attachment given to a female is often a doll. At night, with her arms wrapped tightly around it, the child finds the doll is something to hold on to. It serves two purposes:

 first, it is something she can attach herself to, and secondly, her doll makes her feel safe and allows her to sleep without fear. Her doll is also someone she can love, nurture and protect. She controls the relationship which leaves her with a good feeling inside. It does not matter whether she is rich or poor. There always seems to be a doll of some sort in a young girl's life.

My mom did not have much money when we were growing up, but she found a way to make sure that my sister and I had a doll. I remember my first doll. She was larger than life sitting under the Christmas tree. I fell in love with her immediately because she was someone I could take care of. I combed her hair, washed her clothes, and made vain attempts to feed her. Instinctively, I felt this was what I was supposed to do. I could not let anything happen to her. I saw myself as her protector and could not let her fall into harm, nor could I allow anyone else to do what I believed I was supposed to do.

I imagine other little girls, maybe even you, have had similar feelings of nurturing with dolls and people, which placed you in a position of caring. There is nothing wrong with caring or nurturing. Every human being deserves some kind of nurturing. We all have a desire to be needed and to feel needed. Being needed means there is someone in the universe that relies on us. What we do for that person matters. This feeling of being needed is wonderful for our feelings of self-worth. It even lends itself to a certain amount of maturity and responsibility because we are accountable for someone other than ourselves.

Unfortunately, for some women the instinct of caring and nurturing has the potential to lead them into unhealthy relationships. A woman can find herself nurturing the wrong characteristics in people which produces weakness and negative energy that attacks the very depths of her thoughts, feelings, soul, mind, and spirit.

If you are nurturing a weakness in someone else, you have not dealt with your own weakness. Your weakness could be a result of years of engaging in volatile relationships, which resulted in a feeling of low self-esteem or self-worth. You have stayed in these unhealthy relationships because you have a basic need for affection, but in fulfilling this need, in this manner, you are denying your own self-worth. 

The baby doll in your life allows you to give and receive affection without damage to yourself; but if the baby doll is all that you have been able to garner affection from as a child, then in your adult years you most likely will have serious voids in your life.

Low self-esteem, loss of identity, a need for connectedness, and lack of personal boundaries are just a few of the personal challenges a woman may face, which is translated into her desire to over-compensate in another person's life to her detriment and others.